Relationships in general, whether it’s a marriage, dating, or friendships, we’re teaching our children how to play a role in their future relationships. If you don’t know by know, our kids are watching our EVERY MOVE. They are watching our morning routines, our bad days, our good days, and all the in betweens. How we treat the people we love is a sure way to show our next generation what relationships should look like and be like.
When I think about my son, who is 7, and how I want him to treat his future wife and how his wife should treat him, it’s important for me to show him through my relationship today. Love is about respect, trust, communication and empowerment.
Here are 10 actions that I know my son have observed from us over the years.
Don’t shy away from kissing, hugging and holding hands. Showing affection in front of our kids if encouraged, even if they are “grossed out”.
There are plenty of ways to show respect such as saying please and thank you, learning to tolerate and appreciate differences between you and your partner, acknowledging your partner’s contribution, having self respect, learning to compromise, practice mutual accountability, just to name a few.
3. Being Kind
Never belittle your partner, especially in front of the kids. Name calling and blaming is not only detrimental to your relationship, it’s also causes harm to your children. Remember, you can alway step away from the situation to refocus but you can not take back words said.
4. Saying, “I’m Sorry.”
Teaching our kids that it’s ok to make mistakes and how to handle the aftermath of mistakes is crucial because no one is perfect. We are all going to make mistakes at some point and our kids need to know that it’s human nature but we must take responsibility for our actions and apologize when needed.
Don’t feel guilty getting a babysitter to have a date night. I know it can be tough. I’m always pumped about having a night without my son but always seem to feel guilty and miss him while I’m out. We have to remember that these date nights are needed and also teaches our kids that adult time is necessary for relationships.
Verbally confessing what attracts you to your partner, as long as it’s G rated…, is a sure way to teach our kids how to build up the people we love. Self esteem can make ya or break ya. Who doesn’t love hearing their loved ones tell them that they are beautiful and smart?
Humor is important in my household. Life is hard and full of seriousness that sometimes can be relieved by laughter. Finding humor in our daily lives and with our loved ones is imperative.
8. Team Work
Team work is important whether it’s cooking dinner, cleaning the house, or working on a school project. When you work as a team with your partner, you are showing that their is a support system in place and anything is possible with the right support!
9. The Value of Friends
Our relationship with our friends can show that we have additional love and support, especially during the hard days.
10. Family Time
Doing things as a family, helps strengthens your family. The sense of closeness between everyone will really come in hand during the teen years. Also keeping our extended family in our activities and lives teaches our children that we have enough love to go around.